Adds !papież / !papiez / !pope: a random pope as a photo, captioned with his
Latin name, reign and pl.wikipedia link. popes.json already carried a Commons
portrait filename for all 267 and nothing had ever consumed it.
The Latin name comes from the Latin column of Poczet papieży, not from the
la.wikipedia sitelink. The sitelink resolved for all 267 and was still wrong:
la.wikipedia numbers several popes differently, so #154 came out as
"Stefan IX — Stephanus X" in a single caption, which reads as an off-by-one.
The table's own column says "Stephanus Nonus" and cannot disagree with the
name beside it. LATIN_OVERRIDES ships empty; it is a tripwire, not a backlog.
Portraits are cached on disk under CacheDirectory=signal-bot, named from the
ordinal so no upstream string ever reaches a path, and bounded at 267 entries
so nothing needs evicting. Verified that CacheDirectory wins against
ProtectHome=read-only before relying on it.
Also adds POST /_selftest and scripts/selftest.sh. Signal never delivers an
account its own sends, so no command has ever been exercised end-to-end
without asking a human to type it. This injects a real frame into the live
dispatcher; it is loopback-only and refuses any group not in SELFTEST_GROUPS,
which is empty by default.
Verified against the real endpoints, not just the fake: 267/267 portraits
resolve on Commons, regeneration is byte-identical on every previously
shipped field, and !papież was driven 7 times through the live dispatcher in
testbot, returning distinct popes.
Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_015d48t4qsQLBJnDwDeo2Nom
Release n is pope n, so the version is a fact about the ordinal rather than a
judgement about the size of a change. The constraint that fixes the scheme is
Jan Pawel II at 2.13.7: eight patches per minor with majors opening at ordinals
33 and 153 gives (264 - 153) = 13 * 8 + 7 exactly, and both earlier majors
happen to divide evenly by eight too, so no bracket needs a fudge factor. The
anchors are not arbitrary -- 33 is Sylwester I, pope through the Edict of Milan
and Nicaea, and 153 is Wiktor II, the first pope elected after the 1054 schism.
popes.json is scraped by tool/gen_popes.py rather than recalled, because
antipopes, Benedykt IX's three separate reigns and the Stefan II question all
shift the count and being wrong by one moves Jan Pawel II off 2.13.7 silently.
The generator refuses to write a list that is not 267 contiguous entries with
Jan Pawel II at 264. A second, independent parse of the same page agreed on
every ordinal, which is the only reason to believe either.
On startup each watched group is told about the releases it has not seen. A
group with no record has seen none of them, so the first announcement starts at
0.0.0 "Swiety Piotr Apostol" rather than skipping to whatever is current --
watching the ladder start at Peter is the point of naming releases after popes.
A group added years from now would otherwise be handed the whole backlog, so
the message is capped at ten releases and says how many it left out. The
version is recorded before the message is sent: with Restart=always and
RestartSec=5, a crash between the two would re-announce on every restart, and a
missed announcement is far cheaper than a looping one.
DOCS-changelog.md is the single source -- the bot parses it, so there is no
second machine-readable copy to drift. It is DOCS-, not CHANGELOG.md, because
the md-naming gate allows four namespaces and that is not one of them.
Deliberately NOT bumping SCHEMA_VERSION for the new group_meta table:
_apply_schema drops every table on a bump, so bumping to add a table would have
thrown away the live tallies to gain nothing. Verified against the real
database -- group_meta appeared and all four counts survived the restart.
The schema moves to its own module so store.py stays under the 250-line cap,
and /healthz now names the build, because there was previously no way to ask a
running bot which version it is.
Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 (1M context) <noreply@anthropic.com>
Claude-Session: https://claude.ai/code/session_015d48t4qsQLBJnDwDeo2Nom
